Chores and Children

How To Teach Children to be Responsible

Aug 8, 2007 Linda Banks

This article describes how parents can create a reasonable chore list and entice children to take on the responsibility of those chores without a great big hassle.

Chores are extremely important for children to learn and do. Not only does it make a child realize that there is work in maintaining the family home, there is also a sense of pride and responsibility by doing a job and doing it well.

The issue, of course, is that kids will balk, argue, fuss and fight about any type of duty assigned to them. Parents, especially extremely busy parents, find it easier for now just to perform the work themselves instead of standing their ground and making sure their children do it. In the long run, however, doing chores for your children only teaches them that if they complain enough, they can get out of doing work.

Every adult has had a boss they haven’t liked. Every adult has a part of their job they just didn’t like to do. Every adult had days where they didn’t feel like going into work. But – in order to get the paycheck, adults must forge ahead and take instructions from the boss they didn’t like, do tasks they don’t like to do and go into work anyway. This is life. It is a parent’s job to get a child ready for real life. By enforcing a good work ethic in regards to chores, children are more prepared to become a responsible adult.

Tips for Teaching Chores

The question is – how to teach chores to children and be successful at it. Here are some tips:

First and most important: let your child know what you expect. Children aren’t born knowing how to make a bed or do the dishes. Explain and show what you expect from them. If you always put plastics in the top shelf of the dishwasher, make sure your child know that guideline and explain why.

Second,don’t expect perfection! For example, especially with smaller children, the made bed may be wrinkled or off center. Do not go behind them and redo it, unless there’s a special situation where you must. Praise them for what they have done and as they grow, they will get better at doing the chore. In addition, children may come up with their own ways of performing that chore. If the chore gets done and done well, how it gets done should not be the issue.

Chores First, Play Later

Finally, stick to your guns when it comes to the chore list. Make a simple rule: chores must be done before you play. Don’t get emotional or yell and scream. Keep your attitude calm, but repeat the mantra when the child starts testing limits: Chores must be done before you play. By keeping emotions out of it, the child knows he can’t distract you with his whining and complaining. Eventually, the child will realize that you mean what you say and will finish his chores so he can play.

Thanking Your Child

As a great bonus, thank your child for contributing to the household by finishing his chores. Everyone likes to be appreciated and children are no different, even if you are not really giving them a choice to do the chore. Every once in a while, just saying, “I really appreciate you making your bed every day. It’s so nice to come into a house where people make things look nice.” This gives a nice pat on the back, but also reinforces why that specific chore is done.

The copyright of the article Chores and Children in Early Childhood is owned by Linda Banks. Permission to republish Chores and Children in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.